Before you walk in
Print this list. Bring it. Write the answers down on the page next to each question. Memory after a tour is unreliable, and tours blur together when you visit more than one in a week.
The 19 questions
About staffing
1. What is the resident-to-staff ratio during the day, at night, and on weekends? Look for a specific answer. "We have plenty of staff" is not an answer.
2. What is the average tenure of your direct-care staff? Tenure is a tell. Communities with high turnover give vague answers. Communities with stable teams will name people.
3. Is a registered nurse on the floor during care hours? The right answer is yes during care hours, with on-call coverage at night.
4. Who is the person my parent would call at 2 AM? You are looking for a real answer, not a generic call-system promise.
About medication and care
5. Walk me through how a new prescription gets reviewed and added to the cart. The answer should involve a registered nurse and a same-day timeline.
6. How are medication aides trained and supervised? Listen for specifics: training program, observation cadence, what happens when an aide makes an error.
7. Who writes my parent's care plan, and how often is it updated? The right answer names a nurse and describes a quarterly cadence with updates triggered by status changes.
8. Tell me about the last time a resident had a fall. What happened in the first hour? Real stories, not policy summaries.
About transitions
9. What triggers a 30-day notice or a transfer to a higher level of care? This protects your parent from an unexpected discharge.
10. Can you bring in hospice or home health if my parent's needs change? A community willing to support outside services is one that prioritizes the resident over the per-room margin.
11. How is a hospital discharge handled? Who reviews the new orders? Hospital discharges are when most readmissions happen. The community's process matters.
About money
12. What is the all-in monthly rate, including everything you typically charge? Ask for the number a typical resident actually pays, not the brochure rate.
13. What triggers a rate increase, and what has the increase history been over the last three years? A 3 percent annual lift is normal. 8 percent is a flag.
14. What is the deposit, community fee, and refund policy?
15. What if my parent runs out of private funds? Do you accept Medicaid waiver programs? This matters even if private pay is the plan today. Plans change.
About leadership and history
16. Who is the executive director? How long have they been here? ED tenure correlates with care quality.
17. Who owns this community? You want a real answer. Local family, regional operator, REIT, private equity. Each has different incentives. (See our family-owned vs. corporate piece.)
18. What was the result of your last state inspection? What did it find? Available publicly through Kentucky DAIL. The honest community will tell you.
19. Can I have lunch with a current resident and family member? The answer to this one tells you a lot.
Green flags and red flags by category
Most families leave a tour with a general feeling, good or uneasy, without being able to name what drove it. Here is how to read the answers you just collected.
Clinical care
Green flags: The nurse's name comes up unprompted. Staff describe specific processes rather than policies. Fall responses are described as incidents with actual steps taken, not as general safety systems. Someone can tell you what changed after the last medication error.
Red flags: The answer to "who reviews new prescriptions" does not involve a registered nurse. The fall response is described in terms of equipment (call pendants, cameras) rather than people. No one can describe the most recent care plan update process.
Food
Green flags: You are invited to stay for lunch without asking. The menu changes weekly. Staff can name a resident's dietary preference from memory. The dining room has tables of residents who appear to be in conversation.
Red flags: The tour includes the dining room but avoids a meal. The menu looks identical to a hospital tray. Staff describe meals in terms of "we meet all nutritional requirements" rather than what residents actually enjoy.
Staffing
Green flags: Staff greet residents by name as they walk past. Someone you pass in the hallway stops to talk without being prompted. The executive director is in the building during the tour and knows the names of residents you encounter.
Red flags: Staff pass residents without acknowledgment. The tour is conducted entirely by a marketing coordinator who has never done direct care. The answer to staff tenure is "we are always working on retention" with no actual numbers.
Family policy
Green flags: Visiting hours are unrestricted or nearly so. Family members are described as partners in care planning. You are encouraged to show up unannounced to see what a typical day looks like.
Red flags: Visiting hours are limited without a clinical explanation. The community describes family involvement primarily in terms of scheduled meetings or care conferences. You are told that surprise visits "disrupt the residents' routines."
Tour timing: when to go and what to notice
Best day of the week: Tuesday or Wednesday. Weekends tend to have reduced programming and sometimes thinner staffing. Monday is often catch-up from the weekend. Mid-week gives you a realistic picture of a typical operating day.
Best time of day: mid-morning, around 10 AM. Morning care routines are finishing. The activity calendar is starting. The dining room may have a coffee or activity going. Staff are moving through the building rather than gathered at a station.
What to do in the lobby before the tour starts. Arrive a few minutes early and sit in the lobby or common area before your guide comes to get you. Notice who walks through and whether residents look engaged or disengaged. Notice whether staff who pass through acknowledge visitors. A community that is performing for the tour will be at its best from the moment the marketing coordinator picks you up. The five minutes before that are unscripted.
Ask the resident you encounter in the hallway one question. Something simple: "How's the food here?" or "Have you been here long?" Residents who are happy in a community will tell you. Residents who are not will tell you too, in their own way. The community cannot script that moment.
What to do with the answers
After the tour, before you talk to anyone in your family, write a one-line summary:
- Did the staff seem to know the residents by name?
- Did the building feel like a home or like a facility?
- Did the answers to the questions get more specific or more vague as you pressed?
Trust your gut on the first two. Trust your notes on the third.
The bottom line
A community that answers these questions confidently and specifically is doing the work. A community that deflects, generalizes, or charms its way around them is signaling something. Listen for it.
Frequently Asked
How long should an assisted living tour take?
Plan for 60 to 90 minutes. A rushed tour is a tell. The community should have time to answer questions, walk you through more than just the model apartment, and ideally introduce you to a current resident or family member.
Should I tour with my parent or alone first?
Both, in that order. A first tour alone lets you ask hard questions without filtering them through how it might land for your parent. A second tour with your parent lets them feel the place themselves and ask their own questions.